


your girl's got red in her cheeks

by merlypops



Series: Girl!5SOS Oneshots [3]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Dysphoria, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Genderbending, Girl 5sos, Healing, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, Love Confessions, Muke - Freeform, Romance, Shame, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, cis girl luke, cis girl michael, girl!luke, girl!michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-13 16:46:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4529529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I love you too, Lu,” Mike breathed but her voice came out sounding a bit choked because now she was desperately <i>painfully</i> aware of Lu’s slender, willowy body pressed lightly against Mike’s own and - and Mike was small and soft and round where Lu was tall and slim, and it made Mike feel <i>sick</i> almost, how imperfect she felt then.'</p><p>
  <b>Mike is unhappy with herself and Lu tries to convince her of how beautiful she is.</b>
</p><p>Based on "Is There Somewhere?" by Halsey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	your girl's got red in her cheeks

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written F/F smut before so this is a new one... Hopefully I didn't fuck it up...  
> Also it started off smutty but then it got angsty and then it got fluffy and sickening and cute and gross and stuff so good luck.  
> I hope you won't hate it!

Mike's bedroom was a mess.

Numerous battered pairs of converse littered her makeup-stained carpet and clothes were spilling from the open doors of her wardrobe where she had tossed them inside and simply hoped for the best.

The curtains had been dragged shut to block out the fading reddish glow of the sunset and there were glow-in-the-dark stars scattered across the ceiling that Mike had stuck up there when she was a little girl.

Peeling posters of All Time Low and Green Day covered every available surface, and her bubblegum-blue duvet creased as she clenched her fists around it.

The only sounds in the room were Mike's panting breaths and the slick sounds of her girlfriend's fingers tucked neatly inside her, scissoring and _perfect_ as they pressed against the spot that made Mike see constellations when she squeezed her emerald green eyes tightly shut.

When her eyes fluttered open though, Lu was gazing down at her with hooded sapphire blue eyes that were hopelessly in love. The younger girl's gaze softened when Mike began to grind down needily and Lu let her free hand drift so that she could ghost her fingertips over the tiny swollen peak of the older girl's clit.

Mike whined high in her throat at the friction, squirming as her hips rocked against Lu's palm even as she arched her back, like she didn't know whether she wanted to move away or not. Mike was always sensitive and this time was no different. Shudders were running through her and her tits were heaving inside her black lacy bra as she gasped, pale in the darkness and drawing Lu's gaze like the taller girl was hungry for it.

"P-please," Mike whimpered, her voice cracking as her toes curled a little at the pleasure burning through her soft stomach and Lu licked at her girlfriend's soft red mouth, biting lightly on her lower lip. Mike moaned, gone for it.

All she could think of was the pressure on her clit and Lu's fingers fucking inside her and - and _fuck_ , Lu had just pulled her bra aside with her teeth to suck on Mike's nipple and it was almost too much now.

The older girl's hand was shaking as she dropped her handful of duvet and reached for her girlfriend instead, felt how Lu was dripping wet on her fingers again as she focused on bringing Mike closer to the edge but her hips jerked at the contact. Mike could still taste Lu lingering on her tongue though and she knew from experience that the blonde girl would be too sensitive to do anything else for a while.

Mike’s hand drifted to Lu’s chest, filled her palm with the soft warm flesh and rubbed her thumb over Lu’s nipple, losing herself in the soft gasp that escaped the blonde girl as she raised her head, fixing Mike with a disapproving look that didn’t even go _close_ to masking her love.

“Stop teasing,” Lu reprimanded, wriggling away a little and shifting so that she could suck at Mike’s neck instead, marking her pale throat with little bruises as the older girl began to flutter around her fingers. Mike’s lips were kiss-bitten and her cheeks were flushed red, and she was too far gone to feel ashamed of how she was stretched out in front of her girlfriend now.

“C’mon, Mikey,” Lu breathed when she saw the familiar alarm seize Mike when her orgasm abruptly caught her by surprise. “C’mon, babe, it’s okay.” Lu’s lips were soft and warm against Mike’s skin, the touch of her lip-ring cool against her throat. Lu’s fingers were soft as she fucked Mike’s cunt and rubbed her clit. “Come for me, babe.”

Mike tensed as she climaxed, stiffening as her breath caught in her throat and her fingertips dug into Lu’s soft skin, drawing a soft hiss from her girlfriend. The heat in Mike’s stomach boiled over like lava as she quaked around Lu’s fingers.

“ _Fuck, fuck, fuck_ ,” Mike groaned, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as her golden eyelashes fanned out on her blushing cheeks. Lu stroked her through it gently, easing her fingers out when it became too much and dropping numerous gentle kisses onto Mike’s gasping lips as the blonde girl cleaned her fingers with a tissue.

“Did so good for me, Mikey,” Lu whispered and her sapphire blue eyes were so, _so_ proud as she looked down at Mike, cupping her girlfriend’s face as her cornsilk-blonde hair tumbled down around them, blocking the rest of the world out as she brushed her lips against Mike’s. “I love you, Michaela.”

A lump rose inexplicably in Mike’s throat and she clung to Lu, needier than ever now as she stroked the pale skin stretched tight over the taller girl’s ribs. Mike buried her face in Lu’s neck, breathing in the comforting smell of apples and cinnamon that followed the beautiful blonde girl wherever she went.

“I love you too, Lu,” Mike breathed but her voice came out sounding a bit choked because now she was desperately _painfully_ aware of Lu’s slender, willowy body pressed lightly against Mike’s own and - and Mike was small and soft and round where Lu was tall and slim, and it made Mike feel _sick_ almost, how imperfect she felt then.

“Mike?” Lu asked anxiously and Mike winced because they were lying on top of the duvet and she couldn’t untangle it to cover herself up. Lu reached over, flicking the switch on the lamp sitting on Mike’s bedside table. The bedroom was illuminated with golden light and the shadows stretched across the peeling wallpaper like ink.

The stars stuck to the ceiling weren’t shining in the darkness anymore.

Mike’s soft stomach was churning with nervousness and her small hands fluttered uselessly in a vain attempt to cover herself up. Lu’s brows drew together as she looked down at her and Mike’s shame was choking her now, making her chest feel tight and her eyes burn with tears. She just felt so fucking _stupid_ because this was _Lu_ and - and Mike should stop being such a useless fat idiot.

“ _Mike_ ,” Lu murmured and her eyes were burning with tears now as she shut the lamp off quickly before gently but firmly taking her girlfriend’s hands in her own, holding them there and pressing gentle kisses to her knuckles. Before that moment, Mike hadn’t even _realised_ her nails were biting into the skin of her soft stomach, right over where the old scars were.

A strained silence between them grew but Lu’s lips continued to brush softly against Mike’s hands as she rubbed her thumbs into her palms, attempting to calm her.

“This is why you always wanted the lights out before?” Lu asked quietly and Mike’s pained whimper was answer enough. “ _B-babe_ ,” Lu said and her voice broke. “Babe, I’m so _s-sorry_.”

Mike struggled into a sitting position, wriggling back and away so that she could finally pull some of the bubblegum-blue duvet up over her. A tear trickled down her flushed cheek and she wiped it away furiously, sweaty and uneasy and _hurting_.

Lu was gazing at Mike like her heart was tearing itself up in her chest.

“Why are _you_ sorry?” Mike whispered but her emerald green eyes were red with tears and she was biting down on her bottom lip hard to keep her sobs in. Lu just shook her head slowly, ashamed that she hadn’t considered that Mike’s past self-harm was still so much of an _issue_.

Even as Lu thought the words though, she felt like a fucking idiot because… because how could it _not_ be?

There was so much Lu wanted to say to her girlfriend in that moment but none of it would _help_.

“Can I lay with you?” the blonde girl asked instead and Mike gazed at her wordlessly for a long moment before she shrugged weakly, shuffling down so that she was lying with her head cushioned on the pillow. Lu settled down hesitantly behind her, wrapping her bare arm gently around Mike’s soft tummy and pressing a gentle kiss to the smaller girl’s shoulder when she stiffened.

“You never said,” Lu breathed and her voice was thick with unshed tears. Mike rolled over so that she could wrap her arms around the taller girl, clinging to her hard like she was afraid of letting go. Mike buried her tear-wet face in Lu’s neck as they lay there, tangled up together in the dark.

“I d-didn’t _want_ to,” Mike replied tearfully but the shame in her voice was painful to listen to. Lu choked on a sob, wriggling so that she could cuddle Mike properly. The older girl exhaled shakily, letting her flushed cheek fall to rest against Lu’s chest as the blonde girl held her close, skin on skin as the sky outside gradually darkened.

Lu’s fingers were soft as she combed them gently through Mike’s dyed hair, separating the strands of inky black and electric blue and hot pink as her free hand stroked idle circles in the smooth skin of Mike’s back, pale in the moonlight where the duvet had slipped back a little.

“I know you won’t believe me,” Lu began hesitantly and Mike’s soft little answering sigh sounded sad in the quiet. “But I think you’re so, _so_ beautiful.”

Mike hid her face again but Lu didn’t want that. She let her girlfriend’s soft hair flutter back down and reached forwards slowly, gently tilting Mike’s chin up so that she could see her face.

With her thick wavy hair and flushed cheeks and smooth pearly skin - with the unbearable _kindness_ in her gorgeous glittering emerald eyes - the beauty of her still took Lu’s breath away now.

Mike’s hope and her love for Lu battled against the pained self-hatred evident on her face.

“You’re a liar,” Mike whispered at last and the hope in her eyes burnt out like smoke. Mike’s lips tugged up faintly but her eyes were still brimming with tears. “I’m a hot mess.”

The joke was weak at best but Lu took it seriously.

“You’re just _hot_ , babe,” Lu declared and Mike snorted derisively, rolling her eyes and trying to look like she _wasn’t_ desperate for the praise. “I’m telling you,” Lu repeated and Mike caught her gaze, agonised and loving and _needy_. “I think you’re wonderful.”

“Well _I_ think you need glasses,” Mike disagreed but her face fell again and Lu’s soft smile faded.

“What is it, babe?” Lu’s words were almost as soft as her sapphire blue eyes as they traced the poorly-concealed pain buried in Mike’s expression.

“I’m _fat_ ,” Mike croaked and her face was grey now as another tear slipped over.

“No, you’re not,” Lu disagreed without missing a beat. Her palms were soft as she cupped Mike’s face gently. “Not that it would matter to me if you _were_ of course. People come in different shapes and sizes, and they’re _all_ beautiful.”

“I don’t wanna be fat,” Mike gasped out shakily and Lu stroked her cheek again gently, brushing her knuckles against the warm skin.

“Well you’re not, babe, so you can stop worrying.”

Lu knew it wasn’t as easy as simply deciding to stop but, for now, the words were enough.

“You think you’re _ugly_ ,” the blonde girl said suddenly and the word tasted bitter in her mouth, hurt almost as much as the pain on Mike’s _face_ did. “But I’ve never disagreed with anything more. You hate your scars and your stretchmarks and your freckles and your skin and your little tummy and everything that makes you _you_ , Michaela… everything that I love, right? You look **alive** and… and you’re breathtakingly beautiful because you’re **real**...” Lu’s words trailed away and her cheeks flushed too. “Does… does that make sense?”

“Not really,” Mike murmured but she looked floored and Lu wondered if maybe her girlfriend understood what she had meant better than she was letting on. Mike’s bottom lip wobbled and she reached up to cup Lu’s face, stroking her fingertips lightly across the taller girl’s soft skin. Her nails were bitten short and the black nail varnish on them was chipped. Lu caught one of Mike’s delicate little hands, raising it to drop kisses across the knuckles again.

“What are you so afraid of?” Lu whispered and Mike looked sadder than ever, resigned as she dropped a gentle kiss onto Lu’s collarbone with the reverence of someone who didn’t expect that they would be allowed to do it again.

“I’m scared you’ll start to hate the things about me that I loathe about myself… and then maybe you won’t care about me anymore…” The words were hushed and weak, like Mike was afraid to say them any louder, but they still made Lu’s heart shudder in her chest as she held her girlfriend closer.

“But I love you,” Lu said blankly, cupping the older girl’s face gently in her warm hands and dropping a soft kiss onto the end of Mike’s nose, making the smaller girl smile weakly. “I’ll _always_ love you. I couldn’t ever hate a single thing about you, babe. I promise.” Lu’s cornflower blue eyes were sparkling as Mike’s lips parted in a soft _O_ of surprise. Lu dropped a gentle kiss onto her soft mouth. “I’ll _always_ love you, Michaela,” Lu repeated and, despite the pain that continued to linger in Mike’s eyes, the words seemed to help a little.

“I’ll always love you too, Luna,” Mike whispered and Lu’s smile twisted as she pulled a face, sticking her tongue out at her girlfriend.

“Don’t call me that,” Lu grimaced but her eyes were still twinkling and her cheeks flushed the colour of cherry blossoms beneath her girlfriend's loving gaze.

“But you _love_ it,” Mike disagreed teasingly, her red lips twitching into a smile as she nuzzled her face into Lu’s neck, wrapping her arms tighter around her girlfriend’s waist as she tangled their legs together more securely. Neither of them were moving from the position any time soon.

Lu relaxed at Mike’s joke, content now that the smaller girl was finally starting to calm down again.

“I love **you** ,” Lu countered and, beneath the teasing, her words were true.

“... _Really_?” Mike whispered and Lu let her forehead fall to rest against her girlfriend's.

"Always," Lu whispered, brushing her lips gently against Mike's. The older girl had to break the kiss when she grinned.

“Good,” Mike breathed and her smile stayed firm on her face now. “I love you too. Forever.”

Mike’s laugh was still a little watery but her beautiful emerald green eyes were shining now.

“ _God_ , babe, you’re beautiful,” Lu promised - her soothing voice _reverent_ almost - and Mike’s soft giggle as Lu captured her cherry-red lips in another kiss was the most beautiful sound in the world to the blonde girl.

She felt something calm inside her as Mike relaxed against her, kissing back and stroking her little hands up and down Lu’s back in comforting circles.

“You have the cutest laugh,” Lu said and Mike giggled again, smiling wide and dropping a soft kiss to the bare skin of Lu’s shoulder.

Lu loved Mike always but she loved her most like this, giggly and soft and happy.

Lu thought she knew how to help Mike get better now too.

She just had to make her laugh.

Lu had to make Mike laugh now, laugh tomorrow… She had to _keep_ making her laugh until Mike could laugh on her own.

Until she was **happy**.

Lu didn’t know how much time it would take but she didn’t mind in the slightest.

She was in this for the long-haul and she truly believed that everything would work out right in the end.

She had Mike and Mike had Lu.

That was all they needed to be happy.

Each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so worried this is terrible... Um... Sorry if it was...  
> Please let me know what you thought!


End file.
